A big turnaround

The journey sometimes can be a complete rollercoaster. This has been proven last week. Last month we were completely surprised by the speed of which we had found a surrogate. Due to a series of events we are set back and we can search for a new surrogate. Finally we also received the test results of the embryos!


Last month we had the big news we had found a surrogate. Much quicker than expected, but we were super excited and happy! There was a good click and from both sides we both decided to start the journey together. After the surrogate was medically cleared, the contracts would be made up and probably the first transfer would be planned in late September or early October! We were so thrilled and we felt so fortunate that after the setbacks with the egg donors, all this went smoothly. We had almost daily contact with our surrogate and it is surprising that you can build a connection on such a long distance in such a short time.

Last Tuesday evening, our surrogate flew to Toronto and on Wednesday she would have her medical tests at the clinic of Create. After she sent us a picture that she stepped on the plane, we heard nothing from her. Wednesday morning we asked if she had arrived well and Wednesday night if everything had gone well with her tests. No response…

Gaydads on their journey for a surrogate and embryos
This summer in Barcelona

Finally, Thursday we received an e-mail from CFC (surrogate agency). Our surrogate has missed the appointments in the clinic. She had a panic attack and is mentally unable to continue the journey. A slap in our face and we really didn’t see this coming. We had the feeling that our surrogate was going to meet the entire journey with confidence and self-assurance. We were wrong and we were thrown back.

For us it is bad, but certainly for our surrogate it is worse. We do not know what happened why she had this attack, but we wish her all the best and happiness in her future. Above all it wasn’t here choice to get this setback. Besides this, the fact alone that she had the intent to help us makes her a great woman!

Furthermore our case specialist of CFC is determined that she will find us a new surrogate very soon! We therefore have every confidence that we have quickly can continue our journey. Fingers crossed!

Because I want to finish positive, we also received the results of the PGS tests. In these tests there are 3 possible results:


  1. Good, these embryos do not have chromosomes abnormalities and can be used for IVF;
  2. Mosaic, these embryos have a slight chromosome abnormality. If these embryos are placed and they lead to a pregnancy, then in general they become healthy babies and there is no major risk of disability. The probability of a miscarriage is only significantly higher. These embryos you do not want to use first, but they are not worthless;
  3. Down, these embryos have a chromosome abnormality. If these embryos are placed and they lead to a pregnancy, a baby is born with Down’s syndrome. The clinic will not use these embryos in IVF treatment.

We have tested nine embryos (five of Barno and four by Rik). Barno has three embryos with a good result, one with a down result and one of which the results are still pending. Rik has two embryos with a good result, one with a mosaic result and one of which the results are still pending.

In short, we can at least make five attempts! At a success rate of 70-80% this must be more than enough!