Week twenty update!

Another milestone! week twenty, we are halfway, which means an important ultrasound and only 4 weeks until he is viable (although we assume he will stay in Melissa’s belly for the full 40 weeks ;-)).


From the twelfth week this is officially a “normal” pregnancy. That means we’ve been graduated from the IVF clinic to the obstetrician. The 20-week ultrasound takes place at the obstetrician in the hospital. This is a long medical ultrasound, where little is said and where no photos and videos are allowed to be made. All vital organs are measured to determine if there are no abnormalities.

Of this ultrasound we do not get an official result, but the motto applies “no news is good new”. We haven’t heard anything and we assume that everything is good and healthy! Luckily Melissa did get a picture of the ultrasound (see below), what is he grown big! See here for the week 12 ultrasound and here the week 9 ultrasound.

20 weeks ultrasound

Fun ultrasound

Because we couldn’t attend the week 20 ultrasound and couldn’t see Riba move, we immediately booked a fun ultrasound for a few days later. It was very nice to experience this together with Melissa (of course we would have preferred to be there in person). The package also included a 3d ultrasound, actually we weren’t such a fan beforehand and thought it would be a bit creepy, but it wasn’t so bad. From twenty weeks onwards, most of the energy is used to grow and gain weight, so for now he was very lean and skinny (that’s what makes 3d ultrasounds so scary).

Riba with his hands above his head

It was super cool to see Riba move! And this whole ultrasound was filmed, so we can look back whenever we want.


Besides all the euphoric feelings, there is also a bit of frustration. Because of the Covid pandamic, it’s still not possible to fly to Canada, we couln’t meet Melissa and support her at difficult times as we wanted (in real life). Besides this frustration, we are more than happy to have such a good connection with Melissa. We have daily contact, which makes the “distance” as small as possible.

When a straight couple has a child, the mother feels herself changing and feels something grow in her belly. The dad to be sees his partner change physically and can experience each milestone up close. In this way, straight couples have 9 months to live towards the new situation. Because of the distance this is more difficult for us. I think we compensate this to buy and get a lot of stuff :-P. High chair, Maxi-Cosi, iso-fix systems, clothes (every week a few new sets that we can’t leave), baby monitor, trip cot, baby carrier, sleeping bags etc. etc.. Also, the nursery is almost ready! Personally, we are very proud of the result, now the wait is for the furniture!

Partly because of all the nice gifts we have had from everyone, our house is increasingly turning into a children’s paradise. In this way we really grow towards the live changing moment in November.


By now we are halfway. But still the wait seems so long! At the time of writing, we are on holiday in France and Spain. When we see all the families with their children, we realize that it is our last holiday together and that future holidays will look like totally different. We certainly enjoy this moment (to be together, without having the responsibility of a child), but we can’t wait for the holidays with the three of us. We are so incredibly grateful that this is possible for us!