Big news!

Two blogs ago I was complaining (like a real Dutchie) everything wasn’t going fast enough and we had setbacks with the egg donors, now the tide seems to have finally turned. We have Big news! We have embryos and there is a surrogate who wants to fulfill our wish to become gay parents! A few big steps closer to our Gaybies.


In the previous blog I wrote that our egg donor had begun with medication and that the retrieval was planned. At the 30th of June, 12 (ripe) eggs were retrieved. Of these eggs 6 eggs are fertilized with the sperm from Barno and 6 are fertilized with mine.

These fertilized embryos then developed in an incubator for 5 days. After these 5 days there are a total of 9 embryos remaining. Of these embryos a biopsy is taken to carry out the necessary PGS tests. Read here what these tests involves. In short, this implies that the embryos have all 46 chromosomes and a healthy pregnancy can occur. We get the results of these tests next week.

So still a lot can go wrong but we are still so excited! We are one step closer to our Gaybies and thus the fulfillment of our wish to become gay parents!


The day before the retrieval we were introduced to our first surrogate bio! This bio has been introduced to us on the basis of the wishes we have indicated in advance. So it must be an unmarried woman (otherwise her husband becomes the father by Dutch Law) etc. etc.

From the start we had a great feeling about this surrogate and were totally excited! After all, it is again a milestone, the first introduced surrogate bio! We responded as soon as possible, asking if our bio can be introduced to this woman.

Based on our profile (our wishes, age, orientation and the fact that we are international), the surrogate agency had estimated that it would take 3 to 9 months, before there would be a suitable match between us and a surrogate. These 3 to 9 months are counted as of the moment when there are embryos. So we never expected the news (within two hours) that this woman also liked our bio and would like to help us!

We are very happy with our surrogate

Introduction weeks

Now we are matched with this potential surrogate, we have an introduction for two weeks. In these two weeks we need to get to know each other as well as possible and discuss as many topics as possible. There are also a number of difficult subjects. For example, who decides when a pregnancy can be terminated and with which reasons? What happens after a miscarriage? Each of these subjects we prefer never to think about, but this must be recorded in the surrogate contract.


If after the introduction weeks both the surrogate and us still feel good about each other, the lawyers can draw up the contracts. In addition to Canadian law, this contract must also comply with the Dutch law. This contract is in addition to the agreements we make with the surrogate regarding the pregnancy, also very important in the journey after the pregnancy. As soon as we start the adoption procedure in the Netherlands, the surrogate also has to waive all her rights and obligations for the Dutch law, so we are also the legal parents in The Neterhlands.

As we speak, a legislative change has been made in the Netherlands, in which rights and obligations of a surrogate and intended parents are regulated. I will write a separate blog soon!

Once the contracts are settled, medical examinations and treatments can begin. We have a super good feeling about it! Now just fingers crossed, everything goes well and we soon have a pregnancy to celebrate!