Our latest update dates back to January. We have been to Toronto to have our sperm frozen. We were in the hope that embryos could soon be made and the search for a surrogate could begin.
Besides our sperm, an egg is needed to make embryos. Unfortunately, we both do not have eggs, so we need an egg donor. In the previous blog “Toronto Trip” we wrote that we had chosen an egg donor and that she should be tested, to determine whether she was suitable for donation.
Her first appointment was planned shortly after our Toronto trip. Unfortunately, she was unable to meet this appointment because of private circumstances. Due to various circumstances, a new appointment was made for mid-February, we knew who our donor was and we even had her Instagram account (even though that wasn’t entirely the intention). To our surprise we saw through this Instagram account that our donor would be travelling until the end of February. After contact with Egghelpers, it appeared that the appointment of mid-February would not be met either.
In the meantime, we had some doubt. If the egg donor now fails to meet here commitments, how should that be when the medical treatment is started and that she must inject herself daily with medication? Does she have enough dedication to fulfill this process? It is still a very young woman, is she ready for it? We have expressed our doubtt to Egghelpers and they have managed to convince us to continue with this donor anyway. A new appointment was scheduled for mid-March.
Unfortunately, in mid-March, we received the message that the egg donor once again missed her appointment. It was not hard for us then to make the decision, to not go further with this donor.
Besides the disappointment we don not have any hard feelings towards the donor. It is a young woman who is in a very different phase of her life. The donor path is not nothing and we understand that she does not throw her whole life around to do us a “favor” (we are also completely anonymous for her).
The downside is that we are in a very different phase of our lives. We made the choice to start a family. In addition, we expected the egg donor part to be the easiest. Without embryos, we cannot look for a surrogate, which is often a much more difficult and lasting process. Our feeling is that we didn’t made any progress for three months, and we couldn’t do anything about it. We also realise that we should not complain and there are probably many more setbacks. If this is the worst, we should not complain!
We have chosen a new donor. This new donor was only short available and actually we both have a much better feeling with this donor! A blessing in disguise. Now fingers crossed that this donor will pass the medical testing!